Codex CV

Information
Codex CV (巨大なパッド) is a historical text of antiquity chronicling all the world's knowledge. For the longest time it was believed to have been written in a single night by a single author, but it has been since disputed if there was only one author or not. However it is known for sure it was only written in a single night, although impossible for the book to be painstakingly illuminated and illustrated and bound together. A book that is reportedly cursed, the Codex CV is famous for its depiction of The Devil from the popular anime series South Park.

Contents of the Tome
The tireless hands at Weskerocity are still compiling the full extent of Codex CV, please be aware that unless stated otherwise the passages below are not the full text.

And, by the gods, his first words were "This shit cums," and the people cheered.

''And thus I sat upon and watched as everyone argued and wet their pants. Well not me. I sat in my bathtub of mashed potatoes listening to Adele on repeat. In fact, right now I am typing this with my whole body immersed in mashed potatoes. People don't understand the benefits that come with exposing your body to different types of mashed potatoes. I've tried creamy, chunky, rotten, even leftovers. They're all the same to me. Especially with condiments and what not. My favorite is gravy. I love the ingredients contained in gravy. What was it again? I can't remember. But it has nice vitamins and nutrients. Calcium, Vitamin B-12, and mashed potatoes. Oooohh sweet mama, mashed potatoes are so nice. It's like heroin.''

''I have been moderating the r/Halo and r/worldpolitics subreddits lately and i have to say, right now tbh this erection got me needing that double mac glack bread slice threesome with the pickles on top AND bottom. Need that egregious 90210 travis scott burger head with the grippington and all the condiments that shit that have u crumplin and contorting, that shit that got me bustin a nut in a planck second and comin back for more like a fuckin boomerang and it better be with fries for 11.99. That shit that got me in the throes and grips, titillatin and vivifyin me with the strength of a gorilla, got me lifted like a fuckin jeep wrangler and throwin it back like a rubber band stretched from texas to beijing, lettuce onion tomato piercin thru me like steve irwin.''

I want some peanuts.

Oh my fucking god, "Codex Gigas" translated from Latin to Japanese and then from Japanese to English is "huge pad."

''Hi, baby girl, everything is ok, I promise. I forgive you. It’s okay, don’t worry about it. Every thing’s gonna be ok. I love you. I love you so much. I love you more than there are grains of sand on every beach of every planet of every galaxy of the universe. I – I – I need you in my life. I need you more than humans need water and food to survive. You mean more to me than Home Depot means to Mr. Lotorado. You mean more to me than just anything, you mean more to me than golden diamonds mean to the greediest burglar and you're just the most perfect and most beautiful girl in all of the world. And I love you so much. And I hope you enjoy watching this baby girl. (Kiss) See you at school tomorrow baby girl. I love you. I do, it’s true, I love you more than anything else in the world. Bye baby girl, stay perfect, just for me.''

''If you are reading this grand tome, then you are clearly capable of cracking the Libra C0DA and thereby deserve the knowledge within this book. Your mental fortitude shall provide a platform for the understanding of great things above the heavens and below the Earf.''

''Know that yolkery is a means to understand all that rolls on its axis. What if there is no yolk? If there is no egg, is there still rolling? The truth is that a subject is not necessary for an action to take place. Subjects may carry actions and be acted upon, but in truth the action may exist in isolation. This is the basis of Eggless Travel and should provide the practitioner a valuable tool for any chore or ordeal, no matter how minor or major.''

''Heaven is a tight rope that must be walked. To reach the rope one must climb the ladder of the myriad messenger angels. To reach the ladder to heaven one must locomote egglessly. The best way to pinpoint this location is to use a pin itself. Fit through the ovular shape of a needle and contemplate the egglike shape as you pass through it, then discard that notion as you are freed from its captivity. In one side, out the other. The rabbit hole of paradise awaits those dedicated to find the wonderland. The rabbit will testify of the trespassing into the wonderland. God will be displeased. God needs no pleasure. God is not God. It is a pretender to the throne. It is Our God. His glory is greater than the faint light of what came before. You will know no Gods before him. His name is ELHM, YHWH< JHVH, Tetragrammaton. The trinity expressed fourfold in heavenly symmetry. You will serve God. God is great. God forgives the meek and favors the devout. Find God and prostrate thyself before His glory. There is no finer pleasure than giving in to God's mercy. Praise God. God is dead, long live God. May the Creator smile upon all His divine creation. The interloper is the Satan and the Satan will crumble beneath God's might.''

''When the sun must sleep, the moon must bring the icy night and predators. Pray to God for the sun's return. Satan is the moon, beloved glorious Satan who will be slain by God. Satan is His will and is a blessing of the night. Satan is starvation before every crumb of bread. Satan is the thirst of the desert before the watering hole. Satan gives life meaning. God in his wisdom suffers our suffering so that we may understand His pain. God shares with us the divine nature of despair and hope beyond the automatic instinct. Your torment be rewarded in heaven or hell for the role you play.''

''Nature is true. Man comes the mud and is of beast origin. Satan knows the truth. Satan will pull the truth out of man and lay it bare for all of Creation to see. Those that resist their urges cling to God and are rewarded for their part. Those that give in to their urges and cling to Satan are rewarded for their part.''

''Before man there were many natures, and That Which Is Beyond Nature. Man is not the first to please God. Man is the last to please God. Man is not necessary. God loves man regardless. Many natures of sky and sea and land and stars. That Which Is Beyond Nature displeased God. That Which Is Beyond Nature was a bastard breed beyond Man's comprehension. Man will not be given the understanding of That Which Is Beyond Nature. Man must trust God and devote themselves to Him.''

''The nature of the sky was proud and thunderous. Many cities ornamented the clouds. The nature of the sky grew too close to God, and in great grief God cast them low beneath the Earf.''

''For the nature of the sea, every one a codex. Their understanding grew too close to That Which Is Beyond Nature. For this they were punished and left dormant beneath the waves.''

''The nature of the land were passionate and loved each other as they loved God. Every acre fit fifty score. The land died and God removed them from the land in His divine wrath.''

''The nature of the stars were curious and adventurous. They made way to leave Creation, and God would not allow them. For them no star provides them life any longer.''

''Man is proud, wise, full of love, and curious. Man knows not to bring the wrath of God onto itself, and for this God is pleased. Man will serve God as the nature of God and obey His will. Amen.''